What to Give Friends Who Have Everything,For Christmas

Merry Christmas

I have lots of friends. Most I have known for a long, long time. Some for ages as popularly said. With the holidays fast in coming and frenzied shopping escalating to hand-it-over-now, I am desperate to find the perfect gift. The pleasing, the practical, the wonderfully memorable.

My friends cherish me. This I know because they call me often to share information or just to leave a message on my phone. They are always polite, sometimes irritatingly formal, but I’m always​ forgiving. After all, how inconsiderate it would be for me to stay mad at people who call me Dear and continually assure me of their interest in me and my opinions. Show how much they care about my welfare. Proof right there for any skeptics.

I can’t do without them and have these naughty fantasies when they tell me that they are sincerely mine while simultaneously asking me for money. I was elated at first, flattered that they’re still hitting on me after all these years.They disregard my fake protestations, year after year.

Oh, how my friendly politicians love me. Dems, Repubs and whichever get a hold of my zip code, e-mail address or telephone number. Merry Christmas!!